Denouement by Design: The Art of Composing a Well-Lived Life

The Meaning Behind the Word

My mother was a French major, which is where I first learned the word denouement.
In literature, it refers to the final act of a play — the moment when the strands of the plot are drawn together and matters are explained or resolved.

I’ve always thought of life as a kind of play, unfolding scene by scene.
Seneca, the Roman Stoic philosopher, wrote:

“Life is like a play: it’s not the length, but the excellence of the acting that matters.”
— Epistulae Morales ad Lucilium

Shakespeare echoed that sentiment in As You Like It, when Jaques reminds us:

“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts.”

And Charlie Chaplin, in his own poetic way, said:

“Life is a play that does not allow testing.
So sing, cry, dance, laugh, and live intensely,
before the curtain closes and the piece ends with no applause.”

Of the three, I think I relate most to Chaplin’s words.

The Birth of a Philosophy

As an RN who has spent most of my career in hospice, home care, and acute rehabilitation — especially on a brain injury unit — the themes of life and death are ever-present in my mind. My relationship with my mother, whom I cared for through much of my adult life, also inspired me to live a well-lived life. My mother was a smart, intuitive, kind and loving woman. She enjoyed her life until the year that my dad ripped the rug out from under her emotionally when news of his affair was revealed and their marriage ended. During this time, her family doctor prescribed her antidepressant medication that only made things worse. She became paranoid. Her doctor never followed up to see how she was doing. My mother struggled for the next 20+ years. I also wrestled with resentments and carried them around like a mule carrying military supplies to war. I desperately wanted to learn to help Mom, myself and others. You could say these experiences gave birth to my career. Healing is an active process and takes a multifaceted approach. I devoted my life to the studies of psychology, holistic wellness, self-help, spiritual and contemplative practices and have learned so much along the way.

Oddly enough, one of the most impactful phrases I’ve ever encountered came from a sign outside a local strip club:

“Living well is the best revenge.”

That line struck me deeply.
These experiences — professional, personal, and spiritual — have become the fertile soil for my coaching philosophy and for this concept I call Denouement by Design: The Art of Composing a Well-Lived Life.

What Is a Well-Lived Life?

From my perspective as a concierge nurse, mother, wife, sister, friend, and lover — all roles that steer me toward the common good — a well-lived life is one where we have autonomy over our path and agency over the story, plot, and theme of our existence.

I often ask my clients (and myself):
What do you want life to look like moving forward?

I meet people in many seasons — those recovering from serious medical events and those simply determined to make their wellbeing a priority before crisis strikes. All are noble pursuits.

When I first began working in hospice, I cared for several patients who all echoed the same regret:

“I worked hard, sacrificed, saved for retirement — and now look.
I’m dying, and I never had the chance to enjoy my life.”

Those stories pierced me. It was as if God whispered — or shouted — in my ear:

“Did you hear them? This is not how people should be living.”

From that moment on, I dedicated myself to helping others live fully — before the curtain falls.

Designing Your Denouement

One exercise I often share to help people gain clarity is this:
Ask yourself,
“At the end of my life, who do I want to attend my funeral — and what do I want them to say about me?”

Once you can picture that scene, you can work backward to create a life that fulfills that vision.

I believe in the power of coaching — both giving and receiving it. Having someone to hold us accountable helps us stay aligned with our deepest values and goals.

To compose a well-lived life, we must write the script, determine the theme, recruit the cast, and choose the soundtrack — as loud or as quiet as we wish it to be. Without a script, life unfolds by accident rather than intention.

A Gentle Invitation

So, take the time — with a coach, a trusted friend, or in your own quiet reflection — to write your denouement.

Design a life that feels whole, intentional, and beautifully yours.
When the curtain falls, may your story feel complete.